Snide Remarks, for free

Back in "the day" (college) I used to read a column called Snide Remarks, which was published in the BYU paper, and written by Eric D. Snider (Get it? Snider? Snide Remarks??). Funny stuff. Then I graduated and forgot all about it.

I hadn't heard or thought about good ol' Eric D. in a few years, till I ran across his book, also called Snide Remarks, at Hyrum's house a couple months back. I read through it and it brought back fond memories of the Titanic Parody and Police Beat, among others.

Then a day or two later, by complete coincidence, I was reading a movie review that happened to be written by none other than Eric himself. So I shot him a quick email to see what was happening, and he was kind enough to respond.

Here's an excerpt from my email:

"...just wanted to say that I still find the snide remarks columns very funny despite a few years going by. I still love the references such as "the Stephen E. Robinson & Gerald N. Lund Building for People That Everyone Thinks Are General Authorities Because They Write a Lot of Books" and "the J. Golden Kimball Center for Religious Swearing." And the letter to the editor column is classic material."

And from his response:

"...and those ones you quoted are two of my old favorites, too. Sometimes I think I'll never be that funny again...."

Anyway, here's the point of all this: Snide Remarks was originally free, but after Eric became a freelancer, he started charging for it. But, as of a few days ago, Snide Remarks is free once again to the general public. (Hallelujah, amen!)

From the column:

"So I finally did some weighing and balancing. I could make X dollars a month and have Y readers, or I could make zero dollars a month and have potentially thousands and thousands of readers. I ultimately decided it was better in the long run to have more exposure, even if it meant making nothing from "Snide Remarks." And so on Aug. 23, two days after this column appeared, we officially liberated "Snide Remarks." It was a lot like when Paris was liberated at the end of World War II, but without the stench of Nazis everywhere."

So now you can waste hours of your employer's time perusing humorous material here.

And you can read my favorite column of all time here. Enjoy!

My Trip to Havasupai (Grand Canyon)

If you haven't been to Havasupai (in the Grand Canyon), you need to repent and go immediately. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth.

We set out on a Wednesday night, the fearsome foursome -- Nate, Cami, Sharice, and Patricia. It is about a 5 hour drive from Mesa, so we were planning to leave around 6:30 or 7 PM, but it ended up being more like 10 PM. We arrived at 2 or 3 in the morning, and slept in the parking lot for a few hours.

We woke up around 6 but didn't get going till almost 8, I'm not sure how that happened. The hike down was fun, not too strenuous, but it seemed awfully long. After 8 miles we arrived at the village. I'd been there once before, but I couldn't remember how far it was from the village to the campground. It turned out to be another 2 miles. (Ugh!) We finally arrived and Sharice had a big fat blister on her toe.

The trip was planned by another friend named Melinda, so we looked around for her group and finally found them after fording the river. Cami tried to throw her shoes across and one of them ended up floating downstream but thanks to my cat-like reflexes I was able to quickly fish it out.

That afternoon we went and played around in Havasu Falls, an impressive 100 foot waterfall which was close to the campsite. Then Cami and I went to check out Navajo Falls, which was less than a mile from camp. I somehow didn't know about Navajo Falls on my last trip, but it was definitely worth a visit. Navajo Falls isn't as spectacular as the others, but I rated it as the most enjoyable of the falls, because you can play around in it without getting pummeled too badly.

Friday we hiked down to Mooney Falls, which is probably the most spectacular waterfall I've ever seen (although it's been a while since I was at the Columbia Gorge in Oregon, and since we didn't have digital cameras back then, I pretty much have no record of anything). Getting down to the pool below the falls requires a hike down a steep cliff, the warning signs said things like "Extreme Caution... Don't Go Any Further Unless You're Crazy... If You Die It's Not Our Fault... etc." But we made it down without incident.

After playing around in the falls and the nearby rope swing, we headed down the river. About 3 miles down is another falls called Beaver Falls, but we didn't make it more than 1 or 1.5 miles. We found another rope swing and played around some more, then decided that we were tired and headed back.

Even though we were pretty exhausted by the time we got back to camp, Sharice and Patricia hadn't seen Navajo Falls, so we went back there. I love that place! (Só faltava a namorada :). We played around a while again, and I fought through the current and climbed up into a nook on the left side where the falls are coming down on you from all directions. Very cool.

Back to camp by dark for some more tasty freeze-dried camp food. (It actually was pretty good.)

That night a group of about 10 or 12 of us played a game called Mafia. For those of you not from Utah, Mafia is an intriguing game in which 2 people are secretly assigned as Mafia members, 2 as policemen, and everyone else as townspeople. Then the Mafia tries to kill the policemen while the policemen try to discover who the Mafia members are and convince the townspeople before it's too late. Naturally I was assigned as a Mafia member (I am 25% Italian). Normally the game ends after either the 2 Mafia members or the 2 policemen are both killed. However, this time, the moderator either forgot to stop the game, or didn't feel like it, so I ended up having to kill off both of the policemen and then at least 5 more townspeople after the policemen were already dead. I also threw my Mafia partner under the bus, so I ended up killing everyone in the town. Too bad the Guiness Book people weren't there. After the first game I went to bed. ("That's it for me, I'm out of here!")

Saturday morning we got up "early" and headed out. It was already 8 before we really got going. Patricia took the helicopter from the village, while I, Cami, and Sharice trekked the last 8 miles. We ran into a lot of the other people from the group as we were hiking out... mostly as they were passing us. My friend Jill fell on the hike out and chipped her front tooth. (Yikes!)

At one point I got a ways ahead of Cami and Sharice, so I decided to stop and wait at the next shade I found. But I kept going and never found any shade for maybe another half mile or more. I didn't want to get too far ahead, so I stopped right there in the blazing hot sun and sat down on a rock. I put some sunscreen on, then draped a sock over the back of my neck, and actually fell asleep! A while later (I have no idea how long) Cami and Sharice caught up, along with a friendly dog that was accompanying us up the trail.

We finally made it up after several hours. And then went to Chili's.


• • •
(I still haven't bought a new camera since I lost it in NYC, but here are all of the photos that I've mooched from other people so far.)

Prologue: At one point on the hike out I was trying to think if we could get my whole family to Havasupai, because it should definitely be a mandatory trip. For the less agile, the helicopter costs $80 per person each way, which doesn't seem too unreasonable. Then there's an easy 2 mile hike to the campground after getting dropped off. So I think even my mom could make it. Let's shoot for next year!